Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Breast facts

We men really do love breasts: we talk about them, brag about touching them and apparently now write extensive comedy articles about them for the internet. Many women might think it's juvenile on our part to obsess so much over nothing more than a pair of meat sacks filled with fat, but there are many stories out there which support our collective theory that breasts are just plain awesome.
Small Knockers

Almost Got Vietnamese Bikers Banned From the Roads

In 2008 the Vietnamese government was seriously considering banning all females whose chests measured less than 28 inches from riding their motorbikes on public roads. Allegedly this was a bid from the Ministry of Health aimed at making sure that the people behind the handlebars remain healthy, but it's quite obvious that they were just trying to pressure the women into getting b00b jobs.
If you have ever interacted with a Vietnamese person or saw one of those oriental X-rated movies on the ad**t You Tubes that everybody's talking about, then you know that eastern Asian females don't really carry around a pair of huge portable airbags on their chests. In that region small breasts are not the sign of sickness, they are the sign of (a little bit depressing and flat) normality, and it almost cost thousands of ladies the use of their Vespas.
In 2009 however, the proponents of this bill finally got smacked over the head by their wives and the idea died out.
Breasts Can Become Bigger Via a Cellphone Ringtone
Speaking of smaller breasts from East Asia, it somehow seems appropriate that the inventor of the first noninvasive breast augmentation procedure that probably works, hails from Japan. For a number of years now Dr. Hideto Tomabechi has been preoccupied with 2 things: sounds and breasts, and in 2008 he combined his 2 passions into the "Rock Melon" – a ringtone which supposedly causes titties to gain in size if you just listen to it.
cellphone ringtone01
Dr. Tomabechi has designed the "Rock Melon" sound to carry with it a subliminal cry of an infant child, which allegedly works on a woman's brain causing it to instinctively switch to motherhood mode, making her chest jugs fill with milk. After listening to the tone 20 times a day for a couple of days, one of the good doctor's test subjects reported her breasts grew in size by almost an entire inch!
The only question that remains is: why aren't we feeding this sound through every loudspeaker in the country?
cellphone ringtone02
Sufficiently Big Melons Can Keep You Out of Prison
You would think that the only way breasts could keep anyone from doing jail-time is if that person went back to the judge's chambers and let him touch them for a couple of minutes. But luckily there are less sad examples of the twins providing legal representation in court, as was the case with Serena Kozakura.
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In 2007 Serena Kozakura, 38, was convicted of property destruction after she allegedly kicked in the wooden doors to an unnamed man's apartment and trashed it to hell. However, during a reenactment of the crime, Kozakura proved that the hole someone made in the door was way too small for her and her impressive 44-inch chest to crawl through.
Based on just that, the woman was acquitted. It's probably safe to say she will never curse her massive knockers ever again after it turned out they are her own personal pair of top notch defense lawyers. Oh breasts, is there anything you cannot do?
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Hooters Are Getting Huger
A few years ago some UK researchers turned to the world and said "We have good news and we have better news". The good news was that someone actually gave them money to study boob sizes around the world. The better news was that their findings showed that, worldwide, breasts are getting bigger and bigger.
Just in the UK alone, the average bra size had gone up from 34B to a way juicier 36C. As for the rest of the world, breast sizes had been continuously going up for the last 10-15 years, averaging now almost an entire cup bigger than just a decade ago. If this trend continues, someday we might actually need an M-cup bra size.
Plastic surgeries must have some part in this, but diet and lifestyles cannot be ignored. We definitely eat more and exercise less now, and all that fat has to go somewhere – the fact that it seems to be going mainly to breasts is the best evidence that God exists and that he loves us.
There Do Exist Women with Three Breasts
A big part of any boy's life is catching the Arnold Schwarzenegger movie "Total Recall" one night after his parents went to sleep and witnessing that scene with the 3-breasted alien h00ker. For many of us that has been a defining moment of our childhoods, the start of a journey to find a girl with 3 fun-bags on her chest. Sadly, we later realized that they just don't exist…
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Or so we thought. Thanks to a wondrous example of life imitating art it turns out that some women can have 3 breasts. The medical condition is called "polymastia" or "supernumerary breasts" and works just like the superfluous nipple bit. Some supernumerary breasts (see, even science knows that those are "super"!) might not even make their presence known until puberty, that special time when a polymastic girl first starts to resemble a prostitute from a cheesy Sci-Fi movie.
Location wise, polymastia can manifest itself virtually anywhere on the front of the body, hopefully somewhere between the first and second b00b. So that's one accurate prediction "Total Recall" has made. Now, where are our virtual reality machines?
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Breast Implants Can Save Your Life
The comparison of b00bies to automobile airbags is as old as breast fascination itself. Cavemen probably made that joke in their cave drawings. But it turns out it might not just be sexism on the men's part, because in at least one documented case, a woman's life was saved in car crash when her silicone augmented breasts acted as airbags-like cushioning devices.
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In 2006 a women from the Bulgarian city of Ruse was in a pretty horrific car accidents that left both cars totaled. She and the other driver survived but in her case it was thanks solely to those bigger plastic tits which took upon themselves the force of the impact, rupturing right there on the spot and leaving the women alive, though heavily deflated.
If it wasn't for them, the woman might have hit the steering wheel full on, damaging her internal organs and maybe even banging up her heart a little. This is an obvious sign that Evolution wants our women to have bigger knockers. Maybe later down the line car companies will get rid of airbags altogether and simply offer free b00b jobs to female drivers with each purchase.

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Knife Proof T-shirt

So-called "slasher" flicks may never be the same, thanks to an innovative Japanese company's new "knife proof" T-shirts. The owner of Nihon Uni, a uniform maker based in Osaka, Japan, was inspired to create a super-strong yet practical shirt by watching news reports of knife attacks against children and convenience store clerks.

Gun ownership (and gun crime) is extremely rare in Japan so bullet-stopping clothing used by the world's armies is unnecessary.

Instead, knives are attackers' usual weapons of choice and Nihon Uni acted on that premise when designing the new anti-knife T-shirts.

Nihon Uni first looked at the tough aramid fiber (often referred to by DuPont's brand name, "Kevlar") used in military body armor, then reduced the thickness and density of the ultrahigh molecular weight polyethylene fiber so that it could be flexible enough to serve as everyday clothing. The resulting T-shirts are about three times as strong as those made from cotton fibers, yet are still light enough to be comfortable and machine washable.

Now there are some downsides to the new protective T-shirts, one of them being the very un-T-shirt-like price... 19,000 to 52,000 yen (approx. $195 to $535) for the short-sleeve version and from 22,000-59,000 yen (approx. $225 to $610) for the long-sleeved design.

Sunday, July 28, 2013

Mexican Vampire Woman - 1

Maria Jose Cristerna, a 35-year-old former attorney from Guadalajara, Mexico, is better known as the "Mexican Vampire Woman"
thanks to the piercings, tattoos and titanium horns embedded in her skull.

In the last 18 months, she's become well known for her extreme look and now that blood-curdling appearance will be captured for future generations to ogle at Ripley's Believe It or Not!

The entertainment company recently brought Cristerna to its Orlando, Fla., headquarters to take body casts of her, which will be used to create lifesize urethane figures of her that will appear at Ripley's attractions around the world

Saturday, July 27, 2013

The Principality of Sealand

Size: .0002 of a square mile

Of all the tiny upstart nations in the world, perhaps none has managed to garner as much fame as the Principality of Sealand, a micronation built on an abandoned WWII sea fort off the coast of Britain. It was started in 1967, when famed pirate radio broadcaster Paddy Roy Bates occupied the platform and began using it as hub for his station “Radio Essex.” Bates began calling the fort “Sealand,” and by 1975 he had come up with a flag, a national anthem, a currency, and even passports. Unlike most micronations, Sealand has gained a remarkably high profile in the international community, if only for its readiness to use force. This was most apparent in 1968, when Bates’s son Michael used a rifle to fire on a British vessel that had entered Sealand’s territorial waters. He was handed a weapons charge, but managed to dodge it in court because Sealand was far enough off the coast that it was outside of British jurisdiction. This decision has been used time and again as proof of Sealand’s sovereignty, but it has yet to be recognized by any major country. Germany did send a representative to the fort during the so-called “Second Sealand Incident” in 1975, when a German citizen briefly claimed the platform before being ousted and imprisoned by the Bates, but it has since denied that this action means it recognizes Sealand as a legitimate nation.

In recent years, Sealand has become less of a country and more of a business venture. During the dot com era, it was briefly used as an offshore data hosting facility because of its lack of laws and regulations. It has also operated as a tourist destination, and in recent years the Bates family even unsuccessfully attempted to sell the Principality for some 750 million euros.

Friday, July 26, 2013

Bombay Riots 1992-1993

From December 1992 to January 1993, the Bombay riots took prevalence in various cities. Both Muslims and Hindus were killed during the riots, which were said to be attended by 150,000 people, if not more. With so many people crowding together, it’s no wonder that deaths and injuries occurred. Various stories of the riots have been used in movies as well as in literature.

How it started

The riots were fueled by news of the demolition of the Babri Masjid, which was a mosque in Ayodhya, India by the Liberhan Commission. The demolition of this mosque sparked a lot of anger in the city, as many believed that the government would protect the mosque from being torn down; however, this didn’t happen, and as news spread of the demolition, more and more people gathered to express their emotions. People flooded the streets, often attacking public property, including buses. As crowds and violence grew, the police force grew violent as well. Several shots were fired, which killed many and the Muslims and Hindus began to fight amongst themselves. After this, riots sparked in Dongri, in which Hindus revenged against the Muslims after Hindu workers were killed. The violence continued and the police force grew more restless, continuing to kill rioters. However, rioters continued their violence as well.

How it ended

Once the riots died down after the Hindus and Muslims came together to save the Islamapura mosque , the damage in various cities was already done; $3.6 million worth of damage. By the end of it all, 900 people were dead and about 2,000 were injured. However, soon after the Bombay riots ending, the Bombay bombings occurred that killed about 250 people. While riots are never a good memory, various movies have been made to depict the rioting that occurred, the most recent film being Slumdog Millionaire. Other movies have also used the riots are part of the plot.