Thursday, September 9, 2010

Weird Alcoholic Beverages

Pizza Beer

When you sit down to watch the proverbial big game, chances are that if you're of legal drinking age (or hell, maybe even if you're not) you will be enjoying a nice cold beer and a few slices of pizza as you watch sweaty men in tight fitting clothes slam repeatedly into one another. Well apparently one day someone looked at the pizza, looked at the beer, and thought, "Hey, that might make a good beer flavor."

pizza beer

I can't imagine this person was correct, but for whatever reason, Pizza Beer actually exists. The Mamma Mia Pizza Beer company decided that it might be a good idea to throw all of their favorite pizza ingredients together, make them nice and alcoholic and pass them off as beer. The ingredients include actual pizza crust, tomato, oregano, basil and garlic. Finally, the beer that combines drunkenness and late night drunken munchies into one convenient little bottle!

Chocolate Donut Beer

Just as much as we all love a little pizza to go along with our beer, we love…chocolate donuts? Wait, combining chocolate donuts and beer together doesn't sound very appetizing. Probably due to the fact that one is extremely sweet, while the other is often as bitter as a jilted lover. Which, for the record, is pretty damn bitter.

donut beer

Still, chocolate beer is actually pretty common, and if you like thick, heavy stouts it's really not that bad. Hell, it's so common that even Samuel Adams brews a chocolate bock, and Sapporo, a Japanese beer company, brewed its Chocolate Brewery with real Royce chocolates (a big time chocolate company in Japan). But chocolate donut beer? That's a new one on me. And it sounds delicious.

Milk Vodka

And what better to wash down that chocolate donut beer than with a little milk? Milk vodka, that is. Well, they say milk does a body good. But what happens when you use milk to make a highly potent brand of vodka? If you're anything like me, you've found a new way to eat your Cap'n Crunch. But there are vodkas out there that use milk as the primary ingredient, such as Vermont White. Vermont White combines the creamy taste of vanilla with the biting warmth of, well, vodka.

milk vodka

As far as vodkas go, it is actually pretty damn good, too. It's even gained a little bit of fame, too, as reportedly Jay-Z himself is a pretty big fan of the stuff and rumor has it it's prevalent at his 40-40 Club in New York City. Hey, if it's good enough for Jay-Z, it's good enough for us.

Chili Beer

If you weren't content before with the awful gas that beer alone gave you, your significant other will be just thrilled to learn that someone has taken it upon his or herself to remedy that problem with the creation of chili beer. Combining the power of alcohol and chili, the key ingredient to almost every Mexican dish that ever made your farts damn near lethal without the additional aid of beer, your Dutch ovens have never been so potent (and potentially life threatening).

chili beer

Now whereas most people like to drink a beer to quench their thirst and often to help fight spicy foods, the people who make chili beer have decided that a beer that doesn't burn your mouth is for pansies. The idea actually started when, rather than using a lime like most people someone decided to push a chili pepper down into the beer. Shockingly, it didn't go over well. Even more shockingly, they decided to make a beer based on the idea anyway.

Snake Vodka

Now while milk is a relatively tame thing to find in your beer, probably the last thing you might expect to find when you look in your bottle of spirits is a snake. And I mean, an actual, full snake. However, a man in Texas who raised rattlesnakes actually decided that what people wanted was a bottle of vodka and market it as an "ancient Asian elixir." The sad part is that people actually bought it (both his story, and the snake vodka).

snake vodka

Now I'm trying to figure out which part is harder to believe: the fact that people saw a snake in a bottle of vodka and thought "okay, I can get down with the preposterous idea that this is somehow an Asian elixir" or the fact that someone out there actually raises rattlesnakes. In any event, eventually this guy got arrested, but you can find snake vodka all over the internet these days. You just might want to avoid ever coming into contact with anyone who actually has a bottle.

Kid's Wine

Okay, so this might not quite fit with the rest of these entries because frankly, there's nothing out of the ordinary about the taste or ingredients of this particular alcoholic beverage. So why does it land on a list of the weirdest alcoholic beverages? Because unlike every other drink here (or hell, every other drink on the planet), this one is aimed specifically at kids. Not teenagers, mind you, but actual children. You stay classy, Japan!

kids wine

Now what I want to know is exactly how is it sold? I'd like to imagine that when you walk into a grocery store in Japan, you'll find it right there on the shelf next to the juice boxes and Capri Sun. Frankly, I'm kind of saddened by the fact that I never got any Kid's Wine in my lunch at school.

Chocolate Wine

Now if you've decided you really want to market your alcohol toward millions of sweet, innocent children, and you really want to turn them into drunks by age 10, you might want to invent chocolate wine. Oh, it already exists?

chocolate wine

Yes, yes it does. Back to the old "getting kids drunk" drawing board! Chocolate wine is considered a dessert wine because, well, chocolate. Some of these wines (and there are apparently a lot of wineries that make chocolate wine) have only chocolate flavoring, while some go all out and turn it into what basically amounts to the wine version of a stout beer by actually mixing a bunch of delicious chocolate in along with the other ingredients. Oh, and it's really, really potent, packing about 19% alcohol into every serving.

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